


Maybe Not Better But Different

by my_own_reality



Series: Autistic Scott AU [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison dies, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Autistic Character, Autistic Scott McCall, Cancer, Dead Allison, F/M, Grieving, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Multi, Pack Feels, Recovery, Relationship Study, Sciles, Terminal Illnesses, autistic Scott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 15:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10722123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_own_reality/pseuds/my_own_reality
Summary: It's a tumour that takes Allison away from them and Stiles doesn't know if Scott will ever be the same.-----------------Or: Stiles doesn't know if Kira loves Scott better but she loves him different and he thinks maybe that's just as good.





	Maybe Not Better But Different

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a study of how autistic Scott deals with Allison's death in a mundane setting. Nothing much really happens it's more about studying the emotions and dynamics after she dies. Hope you enjoy!

Stiles didn’t think there was ever going to be a person who could love Scott better than Allison had. He remembers when they met and Scott was so excited to tell Stiles about the pretty girl he’d given a pen to in English. Remembers when he told Allison about Scott’s autism and she didn’t brush it off or pretend it wasn’t there but accepted it as a part of Scott that she would never change. Remembers the first time they kissed and how Scott had called Stiles seconds after their lips separated to tell him everything and how Allison hadn’t been mad, how he could hear her laughter over the phone even as Scott rambled. He remembers the awkward conversation of ‘Stiles, why don’t we kiss like me and Allison do?’, remembers calling Allison over to explain that, if Scott wanted, he and Allison weren’t friends like he and Stiles. He remembers the everlasting patience she had for every quirk, routine and misunderstanding that littered their relationship. But, most of all, Stiles remembers how much Scott loved Allison. With every fibre, Scott loved Allison and Stiles would have been jealous if he had the heart to be anything but awed by how beautifully involved Scott and Allison were with one another.

Stiles remembers when Allison got sick. When she passed out during lunch and they found the tumour pressing on her brain. It was cancer. Allison had cancer. Stiles remembers when they started chemo and Scott was at every appointment, stayed over almost every night. He remembers when Allison lost her hair. He remembers visiting her in hospital and how hollow they both were, how their cheeks were sunken and their skin was pale and their lips were chapped as if they were dying together. Because she was dying. And they all knew it. The weeks came and went and Stiles remembers seeing Scott less and less because there was less and less of him to see, like the sicker Allison got the more Scott tried to give her until there was hardly anything of himself left. Stiles remembers when Scott had a meltdown in Stiles’ room, when he threw books and chairs and papers and screamed about how fucking unfair life was, how she didn’t deserve this, how neither of them did. He was right. They didn’t deserve it. But it was happening and, with excruciating clarity, Stiles remembers the crushing reality of not being able to do a single thing about it.

She died in Scott’s arms. Stiles remembers sitting in the hospital room as Scott cradled Allison, her breaths short and her frail body jerking occasionally from the seizures that had trembled through her since the second tumour had been found the week before. He could hear Scott whispering, reminding Allison of the day they met and how everything would be better soon. They all knew it was a lie, knew it was one Scott was telling to both Allison and himself, that it wasn’t going to get better, not now and not ever. Because Allison was going to die, and Stiles wishes he had known it was going to be then so he could have said the million and one things he never told Allison about how much she meant to him. About how much she meant to Scott. Wishes he’d known so he could have told Chris to stay in the room instead of going to get coffee so he never had to see the look on the Argent’s face when he walked into his daughter’s room and found her limp and lifeless in Scott’s hysterical hold.

It took three hours to coax, calm and pry Allison’s body from Scott’s arms. He never stopped crying. Not even for a second. Stiles remembers how the tears caught the passing streetlights as he drove Scott home. Remembers how much he wanted to cry too but knew he couldn’t, not yet, because Scott was so fragile and he always hated seeing Stiles cry. He remembers the pain in his chest when Scott pushed him away as he moved to wrap his arms around the boy, because Scott was fragile and he couldn’t take being touched, couldn’t handle it, not while he was so raw. Stiles understood. It didn’t make it hurt any less.

It was a week before Scott could leave the sensory safety of his bedroom and a month before he could make it outside. School took longer still and Stiles felt his absence in every empty seat. He went to see him every evening, stayed for dinner most nights because Scott’s mum still had to work and making dinner was a Scott and Stiles thing anyway. It was nice to have a small piece of normalcy to his day, he thinks it helps Scott too, to have a manageable part of his routine even if the rest of it was still too much.

 

When Scott returned to school after almost two months he spent a lot of time in the quiet room, sometimes with Isaac or Lydia or Malia, at least one of them was always there and Stiles was there the most. Surprisingly it was Kira who came in close second when it came to spending the most time with Scott. Reminders of Allison were everywhere, in the vacant seat and empty locker and halls shrouded in memory. Stiles tried but he couldn’t be there all the time and they’re all still grieving (he saw her body every night when he closed his eyes and his bed still being made as dawn breaks happens more than it should) and, out of nowhere, Kira was everywhere Stiles couldn’t be. It felt like she and Scott shouldn’t get along, she was clumsy and awkward and forgot about all the things Scott didn’t like, but it worked somehow. Kira had to try hard around Scott, she didn’t have the same natural ease that Allison had always had when it came to being around him, but Stiles found himself appreciating just how hard Kira was willing to try to be good for Scott. Stiles saw in the library once, a book Stiles recognised as one he’d read himself when researching autism open on her lap. It had put a rare smile on his face. 

 

It happened slowly, they were all healing and there was nothing that helped more than time. It took a lot of blushing (mostly from Kira) and a lot of confusion (mostly from Scott) but eventually they go out on a date. It doesn't all go smoothly, the first time Kira brings Scott home she forgets to tell her parents about how he only eats certain coloured foods each day of the week and he ends up getting so stressed that he has to call Stiles to come pick him up, but they manage and they make it, make it too a point where it’s almost easy. When it comes to Scott and Kira it seems like they always have to try but Stiles thinks that that’s what makes them so great, that they’re always willing to try.

  
Stiles didn’t think there was ever going to be a person who could love Scott better than Allison had. Then he met Kira Yukimura. Maybe she didn’t love Scott better, but she loved Scott different and Stiles thinks that maybe that’s just as good.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments give me life and I'd love to hear any requests people may have for this fandom or another, drop it in the comment box and let me know, hope you enjoyed my work :)


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